As we embark on a new decade, I wanted to take a minute to
reflect on 2019. I’ve had a great deal of loss. Three very important people in
my life passed away.
My dear friend Diane, who was such a light to this world. She had a huge heart and love for humanity. She believed in me with every fiber of her being and always reminded me of my value to society and the impact that I came here to make.
My sweet Karebear who I met on a chronic pain support group, online when I was eleven years old. She and I were there for each other in the middle of the night when we couldn’t sleep, due to pain. We’d send music back and forth and pictures of our dogs. I’ll always keep her in my heart.
And then there’s Kinks/Gramps. I can’t honestly process this one yet and it’s been four months. His death was so sudden and reminds me how blessed we are for the present moment. To stay grounded and to hug those you love and to tell them often. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
I’m so grateful to have had these three individuals in my life. They each helped shape me into the person I am today and I know they’re with me in my heart always, and up above, watching over me.
There wasn’t just loss and sadness in 2019, but new friendships
formed and bonds grew stronger. Shout out to, Brandi who I love so so much. We
got super close this year and I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for
us.
It also marked a decade of friendship with Ashley. Are we really this old? I’m lucky to have you in my life and you deserve all the happiness in the world.
I got to travel to LA and Vegas and be a part of the Chinese
Oscars and an award show at the Hard Rock.
I got to have lunch with my beautiful friend and role model Susan.
Worked
Paleo FX in Austin and one of my best friends, Gina flew in, to do it with
me.
I spent
the majority of the year with my Momma Tehrah, and I’m blessed for the laughter
and music that she brings to my life. Also the fur babies. That’s pure love and
happiness right there.
I also took a fun birthday trip with my mom, to explore
parts of Michigan I had not yet seen.
I
decided to get back into the drivers seat in regards to my health and be the
best advocate I could be for myself and find the answers I so
deserve.
I spent
2017, working on “being enough.” 2018 was about “finding my voice” and setting
boundaries. This year was all about “truly loving myself.” I learned
that I can do anything I set my mind to. Skills I never imagined having in my
toolbox, are now accessible. I also learned that I may not always
get closure in the way I think I deserve. That I need to be able to accept it
and move on.
In
2020, I want to continue exploring and learning.
To
accept that sometimes we outgrow people and experiences, but to enjoy the
journey that is life. Each event on our path, leads us to the next...
I want
to focus on self-care and listen to what my inner child needs. I want to learn
how to be there for others and be the nurturer that I am, while still taking care
of my well-being.
I want
to stay as present as possible and to be conscious of my words and the power
they have. To surround myself with people who bring out the best in me (and
vice versa). To continue to hold myself accountable for my actions,
but also to those around me. I deserve to be respected and my
value.
In
2017, I wanted to create a memory jar. I’d like to attempt this again. The idea
is to place a note in a jar each day. It could be about a new experience, an
accomplishment, a note of gratitude, etc. I may choose to journal this. My
intention is to write something, every day.
I commit to staying true to who I am. I am not here to be like
anyone else. I surrender my pain of this year and the past to G-D. I forgive
and let go of anything that does not serve me and is not in the highest good.
Miracles take shape when we stand back and truly look around us. We are guided
by source, if we allow it to come through.
And so
it is!
I am
ready for you, 2020!
Have
you reflected on your year? What’s something you accomplished? How did you grow
as a person? What are your intentions and resolutions for the new year?
As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com
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Until next time,
XOXOTheZenFashionista
