Today, is Yom Kippur, which is known as the day of atonement. This is considered the holiest day of the year in Judaism. On Yom Kippur, we are forgiven for the ways in which we may have missed the mark and inscribed in the Book of Life; but to be forgiven we spend the days leading up to the holiday, deep in self-reflection. At this time of year, we look inward and also seek to make amends to those we may have hurt. It's a time to press the reset button and start anew; for a new chapter is beginning. I choose to let go of what is no longer serving me, and to set goals for the person I strive to be, in this upcoming year.
As human beings, we tell ourselves stories. We have a psychological need to find meaning in everything around us. The stories we tell ourselves can inspire us to move forward, but they can also cause us to get stuck in the past. It can be easy to lose ourselves in all the stories and lose sight of the present moment. This is a time to ask ourselves, if we let go of all the things that we could have, should have, would have done....if we let go of thinking, if only something happened a different way....we then can focus on who we want to become. There is significance in the dream we have of a better past, but it is our responsibility to take that dream and make it our future reality.
There is a belief that, thoughts are powerful. We have the power, using our thoughts and words, to create what it is that we desire. Each year, I write down my resolutions and lessons that I have learned. I also have decided to include an action step and start really working on who it is I want to become in this next year.
Resolutions for the year 5785:
Connect More To My Faith and G-d - I have already begun to do this, by starting weekly learning sessions. I want to learn more about the teachings of the Kabbalah and mysticism. I would like to become closer to my local community. For the past few years I have felt, more so than ever, feeling connected to others and having hope is a necessity for one's wellbeing.
Read More Books - During my childhood, any free time I had, I was always reading a book. Every year, I write that I want to read more, and I really do have the best intentions. This year, I have decided to take action and encourage myself to read more, by joining a book club! The first official meeting is at the end of this month. The book we will be reading is, Leaving by Roxana Robinson.
Create Blogs/Empowerment Interview Series - Several years ago, I had the idea to create a continuing series, featuring inspirational people. I have selected a list of individuals who I would enjoy interviewing. I look forward to being able to share future interviews on my website.
Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone - Even if I am nervous or uncertain about doing something, I find I am almost always better for having had the experience. I want to continue challenging myself, to engage in new experiences. I recently, found a new group of friends. We all are in the 'same boat'. We seek to meet regularly and share in making new memories with each other.
Surround Myself With People Who Bring Out The Best In Me (and vice versa) -
I want to have people in my life who inspire and challenge me to be my best self. One of my favorite quotes is, "Energy flows where attention goes." The people we surround ourselves with can influence our behaviors and shape our beliefs and thoughts. I notice, at times, I will fall into patterns of gossip, depending on those around me. So, I would like to be more conscious of the energy in my space. I want my relationships with my inner circle to be ones where we nurture each other to grow and hold one another accountable for our actions. On Yom Kippur, I reach out to people who I may have wronged. I am also going to reach out to the positive influences in my life.
Practicing Self-Care - There are times when I am good about this, and then there are times that I get out of practice...In 2023, I began to prioritize having a daily and nightly skincare routine. In 2024, I made it a point of assuring, I would walk a certain number of steps each day (which in turn meant I was going for walks and enjoying sunshine - all good for my mental health!). Moving forward, I want to reintroduce saying affirmations and the practice of daily gratitude into my routine.
These are some of the life lessons I have learned in the past year:
"It's not a matter of letting go - you would if you could. Instead of "Let it go," we should probably say "Let it be." - Jon Kabat-Zinn
While this may seem, like a subtle word change to some, to me it's been a total shift in mindset. Letting go of something can be a process. It may feel kind of harsh if someone tells you to, 'just let it go.' It may feel dismissive and that you just need 'to get over it.' There isn't a magical solution to make our thoughts and feelings disappear. Let it be, feels lighter. An acknowledgement that our feelings are valid. We can observe our thoughts, without the need to change them. Accept them and let them be.
Earlier this year, I was perturbed by something. I knew what the reality of the situation was, even though it was not being presented that way. I felt angry and upset, and I just couldn't let it go. At night, it would consume my thoughts. I then realized the situation was out of my control, and while I couldn't let go of these feelings I had; I could let them be. I could allow space for the emotions and sit with them for a while. There was nothing I could do to change the situation at that time, but I could give myself the ability to have some peace. I am someone that does not like to dwell on things. I usually allow myself time to feel how I am feeling. Rather than remaining, in that space, for a long period of time, I then choose to shift my focus. When I was unable to do that, I meditated. I realized to just 'let it be' and I am serious, when I say that change of words has made all the difference!
"You're always one decision away from a totally different life." - Mel Robbins
This quote reminded me of why it is not only important to create goals and resolutions, but also to include action steps. A goal indicates what it is, I want to achieve, but by going a step further, I am already headed in the direction of making them happen.
It's incredible to think about how a single decision, can drastically change the course of our lives. The realization, that 'we are in the driver's seat' when making decisions, is empowering. Change can be scary, but it is the one constant in our lives. It truly is a blessing to be able to have choices to make.
"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." - Don Miguel Ruiz
This quote is from the book, The Four Agreements. The book is based on teachings from ancient Toltec wisdom. To elaborate on this thought; others' actions have little to do with us. When we get upset about things that were said or done to us personally, they are really a projection and reflection of that person's own reality. Just as our first reaction, is to take something said to us personally; it is a result of our own childhood experiences, stress, life circumstances etc. Everyone is seeing the world through their own unique lens. We start to make the assumption that everything is about us, but we are all secondary characters in everyone else's story. When someone is talking about us, it is the image they have created of us in their story. If we take it personally, we are agreeing to their story becoming a part of our own. At the end of the day, we are only responsible for our actions.
I would like to make amends and ask forgiveness, if I have caused pain or wronged anyone. It is never my intention to do so.
In the coming year, I pray for peace, understanding and lots of love for one another.
G'mar Chatimah Tova! May you be inscribed in the book of life.
As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com
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Until next time,
XOXOTheZenFashionista
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